RIP My Fantasy Football Team

Y’all, my fantasy football team took a hit this week. Justin Fields out with a hand injury. Christian McCaffrey out with an oblique injury. After losing Richardson last week, I’m concerned that my third place status in the league is seriously in jeopardy. But that wasn’t the only thing in jeopardy this week. We had blocked kicks, weird interceptions, penalties out the wazoo, surprisingly close football games, and the end of undefeated teams. Let’s get into it.

DEN v. KC

😴 There was a lot of talk that the elements would make this game a low scoring run heavy game. It was certainly low scoring. I feel like until the fourth quarter the only people playing were Harrison Butker and Travis Kelce. I feel like Andy Reid used this game knowing it was more or less a sure win for his team to take some risks to see how the Chiefs would fair in inclement weather. It really wasn’t super successful and the defense certainly kept them in the game. If I were Andy Reid, I’d be a little concerned about your team’s capabilities in an inclement game in January when you’re playing against a good team.

Final Score: DEN 8 KC 19

TEN v. BAL

This one was brutal for a couple of reasons. Tannehill hurt his same ankle that he injured last season. Willis is not a sufficient replacement. It was also frustrating that Tennessee refused to run the ball on third and short. Instead, relying on long pass attempts that never worked out. It sucks because Baltimore isn’t really anything to write home about and I think with the right play calling and Tannehill not getting injured this one could’ve turned out differently.

Final Score: TEN 16 BAL 24

WAS v. ATL

This one was really evenly matched through the first half and then Desmond Ridder’s playing mentality apparently decided to take a nap in the locker room for the second half. He made some stupid mistakes that resulted in too many turnovers and no offensive play. It made for a very not exciting second half.

Final Score: WAS 24 ATL 16

MIN v. CHI

Heyyyy Minnesota actually won a game. And they only fumbled the ball once! It’s a Christmas miracle. In all seriousness, the biggest story out of this game isn’t Minnesota holding onto the ball, its Justin Fields dislocating his thumb. An already bad Chicago team is now down a QB without a backup I can actually name. They’re setting themselves up for another #1 pick when they don’t need to draft a QB or WR. Front office might as well start planning for next year now.

Final Score: MIN 19 CHI 13

SEA v. CIN

This game happened. Defenses played. It was generally ugly. No further comments.

Final Score: SEA 13 CIN 17

SF v. CLE

Sparks flew before this game even started with the Browns starting a scuffle with the Niners during warmups. The drama stayed through the rest of the game with both teams keeping this game close through several lead changes and more than 200 yards worth of penalties. Deebo Samuel and Christian McCaffrey both exited the game with injuries leading to a fourth quarter ninety second drive for the Niners. Brock Purdy got the team to a place where all that had to happen was Jake Moody kicking a 41 yard field goal to win the game. But you know what happens when you rely on people who went to *ichigan? THEY LET YOU DOWN.

Final Score: SF 17 CLE 19

CAR v. MIA

Miami came out and did Miami things and put up 42 points on Carolina. I think Tua has now thrown 14 TDs this season? It’s statistically ridiculous. That said, Miami has to has to has to get their defense in order. They let a mediocre Panthers team score 21 points. They have to be able to stop teams if they want to make it all the way. Otherwise, an equally strong offense with a strong defense is going to bulldoze them (much like the Bills did last week).

Final Score: CAR 21 MIA 42

IND v. JAX

I don’t want to talk about it. Minshew threw 3 INTs. Richardson is having season ending surgery. I expected a bad season. I didn’t expect to be given hope and then have it so violently ripped from my fingers. Also, Trevor Lawrence is hurt. So there’s that.

Final Score: IND 20 JAX 37

NO v. HOU

CJ Stroud finally threw a pick! But before the play was over the Texans already had the ball back because NO fumbled it. Both Stroud’s first completed pass and his first INT of his NFL career are unique and I think that’s a lot of fun. He also stayed strong through the rest of the game. He threw a couple of TDs and didn’t seem to let the interception mess with his head. Houston may be the current contender to win the AFC South if they keep going they way they are.

Final Score: NO 13 HOU 20

NE v. LV

Jimmy G. has a back injury so the Raiders are currently choosing between Brian Hoyer and Aiden O’Connell to start. Hoyer looked not terrible compared to when O’Connell played last. He’s just not quite ready to start in the NFL. New England needs to play Zeke more. He’s averaging 3.9 yards per carry. Bill Belichick needs to put away this pass primary offense he has and embrace more of a running offense. It’s the only way New England looks mildly less mediocre in the grand scheme of things. Unless this is all a ploy to be bad enough to draft Caleb Williams?

Final Score: NE 17 LV 21

AZ v. LAR

The Rams came out and absolutely smashed this game. It was theirs from start to finish. Offensively and defensively. Aaron Donald was a beast. Matt Stafford was consistent. Cooper Kupp is back. The Cardinals were there. But that’s about all you can say.

Final Score: AZ 9 LAR 26

PHI v. NYJ

Down goes the final undefeated team. Week 1 I said the Jets defense was something special. I’ve believed it ever since the pre-season. They are strong. They are cohesive. They just needed to work out the final kinks. We’ve seen flashes of it over the last several weeks, but here it finally is. Hurts threw 3 interceptions. Brothers Quincey and Quinnen Williams each recovered a turnover by PHI for the Jets. AND they did all this without Sauce Gardner. Just imagine what it’ll be like when he’s back in the secondary for the Jets. Scary.

Final Score: PHI 14 NYJ 20

DET v. TB

I read creamsicle uniforms in several articles before this game and I still was not prepared for the assault on my eyes that these uniforms committed. That’s all I really have to say about Tampa. They didn’t make a splash in terms of game play this week. Detroit though, they looked strong even with David Montgomery going down. The loss of him for the next few weeks will hurt, but it’s not a season ending, pack it in, team crisis.

Final Score: DET 20 TB 6

NYG v. BUF

Any given Sunday, am I right? It took until the 4th quarter for the Bills to remember they were playing the Giants and that they are supposed to be one of the best teams in the league this year. It wasn’t like they turned the ball over a lot. It was that they just didn’t get the ball moving at all. They won in the end, so I guess that’s what matters. But it wasn’t pretty.

Final Score: NYG 9 BUF 14

DAL v. LAC

Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. This game was a whirlwind right down to the end. But Dallas held on and had a game of redemption from last week. They looked decently strong even amidst their defensive woes. This is the kind of game to play on a Monday night. It’s interesting. The game play is good. And it keeps you enthralled until the last seconds. More please.

Final Score: DAL 20 LAC 17

Next week is a huge bye-week with 6 teams on a bye. Best of luck to all your fantasy football teams.